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January 24, 2014

The 2014 Broadway University Midterm Exam Answers

Congratulations to Susan Berlin, Brigadude, Arthur Robinson, Ingrid Gammerman, Kevin Dawson, AnyaToes, Fred Aronowitz, Ira and Jenna Rappaport, Robert Wills, Donald Tesione, Jack Lechner, Ron Schroeder, Ellen Dweck as well as Daryl, Sheri, Zach and Becca Orts.

They’re the ones who scored the highest on The 2014 Broadway University Midterm Exam, in which they were asked to identify various musicals’ lines and lyrics which dealt with age.

The examples and answers were:

1. “I was just seven hours old, truly beautiful to behold.” (“Rose Tint My World” – THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW)

2. “I could barely walk when I milked a cow, and when I was three, I pushed a plow.” (“Born to Hand Jive” – GREASE)

3. “From the time I was five in KING AND I, KING AND I.” (“Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love” -- A CHORUS LINE)

4. “Before it’s too late -- before you are six or seven or eight.” (“You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught” -- SOUTH PACIFIC)

5. “When I was eight, I was in a school play.” (“Applause” – APPLAUSE)

6. “I knowed what’s right and wrong since I been ten.” (“I Cain’t Say No” -- OKLAHOMA!)

7. “And it pays real good -- if you’re eleven.” (“Neat to Be a Newsboy” -- WORKING)

8. “Jenny made her mind up when she was twelve.” (“The Saga of Jenny” – LADY IN THE DARK)

9. “Happy birthday! Thirteenth birthday, from the ones who love you so.” (“A Gift Today” – I CAN GET IT FOR YOU WHOLESALE)

10. “I’ve been ‘the other woman’ since my puberty began.” (“You Can Always Count on Me” – CITY OF ANGELS)

11. “When you’re a skinny child of fourteen wired with braces from ear to ear.” (“How Lovely to Be a Woman” -- BYE BYE BIRDIE)

12. “Ruined at the age of fifteen!” (“Crime of the Century” – RAGTIME)

13. “Why don’t you forget that stuff? You look like you’re sixteen.” (“Light My Candle” -- RENT)

14. “I’m seventeen and I’m new here today. The village I come from seems so far away.” (“The Heat Is On in Saigon” – MISS SAIGON)

15. “I am seventeen going on eighteen. I’ll take care of you.” (“Sixteen Going on Seventeen” – THE SOUND OF MUSIC)

16. “They said you were a queen, and everybody envied you when you were just eighteen.” (“Miss America” – I’M GETTING MY ACT TOGETHER AND TAKING IT ON THE ROAD)

17. “Now that I’m nineteen, I’ll do something incredible that blows God’s freaking mind.” (“You and Me [But Mostly Me]” – THE BOOK OF MORMON)

18. “He’s twenty; I’m thirty; does it matter?” (“Middle Years” -- YOUR OWN THING)

19. “Free, black and twenty-one.” (“This Is the Life” -- GOLDEN BOY)

20. “I can’t believe this beast I see is really me. I’m twenty-three.” (“Where Did It Go?” -- CELEBRATION)

21. “Many a lassie as everyone knows’ll try to be married before twenty-five.” (“Waitin’ for My Dearie” -- BRIGADOON)

22. “A shame you did it all at twenty-six.” (“High Flying Adored” -- EVITA)

23. “Died in a barn, in pain and bitter: twenty-seven years of age.” (“The Ballad of Booth” -- ASSASSINS)

24. “If you felt like Catherine the Great at twenty-eight.” (“Wait Till We’re Sixty-Five” -- ON A CLEAR DAY YOU CAN SEE FOREVER)

25. “Granny dear, mother mine, old and gray at twenty-nine.” (“Not for the Life of Me” -- THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE)

26. “Now I’m halfway through my thirty-second year and I still get thirsty for a can.” (“Beer” – IS THERE LIFE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?”)

27. “Mercy me! Thirty-nine and divorcee!” (“Washer/Dryer” – CAROLINE, OR CHANGE)

28. “Men of forty go to town; women go to pot.” (“A Well-Known Fact” -- I DO! I DO!)

29. “I’m only forty-one; I still have my virility.” (“But, Mr. Adams” -- 1776)

30. “By the time I was twenty-five, I looked forty-two, with seven hungry mouths to feed.” (“Marilyn Monroe” – BLOOD BROTHERS)

31. “In a way, I’m forty-four.” (“Impossible” -- A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM)

32. “Resume well-honed at a well-toned forty-nine.” (“Life Story” -- CLOSER THAN EVER)

33. “He’s handsome, he’s young -- all right, he’s sixty-two.” (“Matchmaker” -- FIDDLER ON THE ROOF”)

34. “You see, my birth surprised them: Mom was sixty-three.” (“Revenge” – “IT’S A BIRD, IT’S A PLANE, IT’S SUPERMAN”)

35. “But the only thing I’d trade ‘em for is sixty-seven more.” (“No Time at All” -- PIPPIN)

36. “It could be if I wait comes along a perfect mate, but for this a man could wait until he’s eighty.” (“Why Not Katie?” – PLAIN AND FANCY)

37. “Who’d think of marryin’ an octogenarian – an eighty-seven year old hag?” (“I’m Past My Prime” – LI’L ABNER)

38. “A nattering, chattering ingénue is making me feel I’m ninety-two instead of a muscular forty-five.” (“How Do You Do, Middle Age?” – THE GIRL WHO CAME TO SUPPER)

39. “Grandpaw Bill lives on the hill with someone he just married. There he is at ninety-three.” (“Doin’ What Comes Natur’lly” – ANNIE GET YOUR GUN)

40. “That fellow? He was over ninety-five, and I think he had a week or maybe two to stay alive.” (“I Am Free” – ZORBA)

41. “By day he’s like a five year old; at night, he’s ninety-seven.” (“What Can You Do with a Man?” – THE BOYS FROM SYRACUSE)

42. “Me, I’m a hundred; you, you’re a blessing.” (“Don’t Look at Me” – FOLLIES)

43. “He may be too old – he’s six hundred and ten.” (“Why Me?” – TWO BY TWO)

44. “But who calls dat livin’ when no gal’ll give in to no man what’s nine hundred years?” (“It Ain’t Necessarily So” – PORGY AND BESS)

45. “I wonder how old I am.” (“Little Lamb” – GYPSY)

         — Peter Filichia




You may e-mail Peter at pfilichia@aol.com.

Check out his weekly column each Tuesday at www.masterworksbroadway.com

and each Friday at www.mtishows.com.

His book, Strippers, Showgirls, and Sharks: A Very Opinionated History of Musicals That Did Not Win the Tony Award,
is now available at www.amazon.com

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